Journey to Self-Awareness

Tiffany Rayside September 27, 2012 Dr. Lynne DeCicco, Eng. 112 Journey to Self-Awareness The term, coming of ripen signifies a growth in a persons identity. It is a confusing phase in which one is on the cusp of matureness and go away experience pivotal moments that will shape character and draw verboten to close to sort of self-realization. Such moments may result in a sledding of innocence, the destruction of hopes and dreams, the sense of imprisonment, and perhaps lessons learned. deuce literary workings that illustrate such concepts are Amy Tans two Kinds and crowd together Joyces Araby. Both pieces are narrated by the chief(prenominal) characters, as adults, reflecting upon and depicting a better understanding of their childhood experiences. Although the affairs and outcomes recounted in for each one differ greatly, Two Kinds and Araby embody the foolishness commonly dis reviveed during adolescence, as closely the maturity and insight the characters gain as the sto ries evolve. In Joyces Araby, the un-named main character is a thirteen year old son sprightliness in a depressed society, worn-down and devoured by drunken men and dicker women(Joyce 92).The male child brightens his day periods marveling over his best friend Mangans sister. The male childs obsession becomes eerily clear as his daily religious rite is revealed When she came out on the doorstep my warmheartedness leaped. I ran into the hall, seized my books and followed her. I unploughed her brown figure always in my eye and, when we came near the stopover in which our ways diverged, I quickened my pace and passed her. This happened morning after morning. I had never spoken to her, except for a few casual words, and until at present her name was like a summons to all my foolish blood. Her assure accompanied me even in places the most hostile to romance (92). Rayside more than often than not, the first step of the coming of age process is the loss of innocence, which is mos t commonly a result of disappointment. As the first professedly interaction lapses between the male child and Mangans sister, the preface for disappointment is shaped. The male child finds himself in the position to impress his fantasy girl when she asks if he will be get wording the bazaar at Araby. Upon conveying her longing to attend the splendid event, the young lad seizes the moment and offers to bring her a flummox from the bazaar, a silent gesture of his love for her.The following days proved tedious as he is consumed with his trip to Araby. Finally, the sacred day arrives and, although he felt he took every precaution to ensure his success, his trip is decelerate receivable to his uncles late return home. The narrator realizes that his uncle has forgotten his plans due to intoxication, I heard him talking to himself and heard the hallstand rocking when it had received the weight of his overcoat. I could interpret these signs (Joyce, P93). The reader is outright pre sented with the boys awareness of the acidulous realities in his existence and the discouragement that follows.The boy is of the age where one begins to acknowledge, hush up not quite understand, adult behavior. Likewise, Amy Tan explores the loss of innocence as an aftermath of childhood disappointment in Two Kinds. Tan portrays herself as a young, first-generation AmericanChinese girl, struggling with the seemingly unrealistic expectations of her make. Amy, who, in the story is referred to by her Chinese name, Ni-Kan, is on a signal, imposed upon her by her capture, to discover her natural endowment so she may become a child forecasting, comparable to Shirley Temple.After incalculable talent tests given to her by her fetch, Ni-Kan begins to accept the notion that she may not have a distinct talent, that she may never be a vaticination But sometimes the presage in me became impatient (Tan 384). With this divine revelation came a sense of failure and 2 Rayside disappoi ntment in herself, in contrast to the narration of Araby. Ni-Kan confesses And after seeing my nonpluss thwart face once again, something inside of me began to die (Tan 384). This admission results in a flip-flop in outlook that marks the beginning of Ni-Kans passage into adulthood, a self-realization.Her innocent belief in her mothers prodigy theories and eagerness to achieve such perfection has come to a halt. In this moment, Ni-Kan decides to be the person she now believes she was meant to be, and not the obedient prodigy her mother and everyone else expected her to be, however it is clear to the reader that she has not yet succeed the maturity to make such resolutions. The journey through the characters development continues as Joyce and Tan introduce the destruction of childhood dreams. As a child, one tends to believe that anything is possible because he or she is screen door to possible hindrances.When obstacles present themselves, a person may suffer a disheartening l oss of faith or hope, which ultimately chips away at the belief that ones dreams will come straight. Joyce delivered an unspoiled pillow slip of this evolution through the narration of Araby, which is consumed with daydreams about a romantic quest to purchase the gift for Mangans sister (Fargnoli and Gillespie 2). Disenchantment struck upon the boys late arrival to the Bazaar, finding the exhibit nearly unemployed and the attendants not interested in his patronage.In that instance, the boy appreciates that his romantic fantasy was not worth all of his troubles, which indicates a significant emotional growth of the character. Fargnoli and Gillespie likewise note and Arabys tawdry wares unacceptable for the portentous mission that he has undertaken (2), further conceding to the discontent the boy felt as he identifies the items available for purchase substandard and unsuitable for his purpose. 3 Rayside Disparate to the boy in Araby, the character in Tans Two Kinds served as the c atalyst that led to the ruin of her dreams through her resistance to learning how to play the piano.When the time came for her to perform at the recital, she began to believe that she was going to play well, disrespect her lack of practicing. She childishly imagined the reaction of her family and audience, It was as if I knew, without a doubt, that the prodigy side of me really did exist (Tan 388). Tan went on to describe how she, see people jumping to their feet and Ed Sullivan rushing up to introduce me to everyone on TV (388). Ni-Kan was admittedly surprised when she heard herself playing all of the ravish notes, and shamed of the embarrassment her parents must have felt as she contend so poorly. while the boy in Araby was disillusioned by forces beyond his control, Ni-Kans experience could have been avoided had she taken her lessons seriously. Also dissimilar to Araby, Tan explores the issues on a deeper level by relating NiKans reaction to her recital to that of her mother. Ni-Kan s childhood dream of pleasing her mother by finding her familiar prodigy would not come to fruition on that day, moreover the true destruction was that of her mothers dream for her daughter to be a success But my mothers expression was what devastated me a quiet, neat look that express she had lost everything.I felt the same way, and it seemed as if everybody were now coming up, like gawkers at the scene of an accident, to see what parts were in truth missing (Tan 389). It is clear that Ni-Kans mother was terribly embarrassed and queer by the ordeal, especially since she boasted about her gifted daughter to the other parents regularly, comprise the idea that the mother learned a valuable lesson on that day. 4 Rayside Moreover, a sense of imprisonment, bitterness, and rage is felt by the characters in Araby and Two Kinds. The presence of captivity is tremendous in Joyces depiction of the world surrounding the boy as he speaks of the mood in the field of operations and the unpleasantness in the air which, in itself, spawns a feeling of hopelessness. However, these feelings are not internalized until later in the story, when the reader is presented with the groundwork for disaster As he was in the hall I could not go into the front front room and lie at the window. I left the house in crappy humour and walked slowly towards the school.The air was pitilessly raw and already my heart misgave me (Joyce 93). The boy already senses his upcoming failure, and that sense is only heightened by a feeling of entrapment once he returns home that evening to find his uncle has not yet arrived, I sat staring at the clock for some time and, when its ticking began to irritate me, I left the room (93). The maturation torture the boy is experiencing is clearly indicated as he recalls having to melt down unacceptable gossip which only seems to make the wait even longer, I had to endure the gossip at the tea-table.The meal was prolonged beyond an hour and still m y uncle did not come (93). Once the uncle does arrive home, the boy barely greets him and immediately asks for money to go to the Bazaar, refusing to smile when the uncle refers to how late in the evening it was, which points out his antipathy towards the delay in his plans. The boys showing of rage is mild, yet resounding. Alternatively, Ni-Kans caging and animosity in Two Kinds are exhibited as bold outcries.While her surroundings appear to have more pleasantries than the boys in Araby, Ni-Kan is held captive by the traditions and expectations of her mother and heritage, and her torment is evident throughout I hated the tests, the raised hopes and failed expectations (Tan 384). It is at this point when Ni-Kan makes the decision to be her own type of prodigy, one that 5 Rayside was angry and powerful (384), with thoughts fill up with lots of wonts. I wont let her change me, I promised myself. I wont be what Im not (384).Clearly, Ni-Kan was going to do everything in her power to e nd her mothers quest for perfection, to put a stop to her foolish rob (387), but soon finds that her mothers determination was stronger than she imagined and her bitterness and resentment turns to pure anger and vengefulness Then I entreat I werent your daughter. I wish you werent my mother (389). Ni-Kan, encouraged, by her mothers growing anger, only becomes more verbal and cruel And thats when I remembered the babies she had lost in China, the ones we never talked about. Then I wish Id never been born I wish I were dead like them (390).Ni-Kans animosity towards becoming a prodigy blinded her from the reality of the pain she caused her mother It was as if I said the magic words, Alakazam (390). In Ni-Kans child eyes, she won the battle of wills, but has yet to recognize all that was lost due to her harsh testimonials. Undoubtedly, the characters Araby and Two Kinds learned important life lessons, however varied in acceptance. It appears that the boy in Araby learned his lessons immediately after his trials. He quickly understands that he, alone, idealized his world, and reality could be cruel and hard to bear if unprepared.It is palpable that from this day forth, he will see things from a much more pragmatic spot and will be better prepared to manage the pitfalls. While Joyce implies that the boy instantly surrenders and accepts this lesson as a part of life, Tans character does not acknowledge her life lessons until much later, as an adult. Ni-Kan continues her dour rebellion throughout her adolescent years and it isnt until the passing of her mother that she finally realizes the underlying truth of her mothers constant interestingness of 6 Rayside perfection.It took Ni-Kan more than half of her life to concede that her mother in truth saw a prodigy, and she alone stood in the way of her own success. In a nutshell, Araby and Two Kinds highlight how important the seemingly insignificant events that occur during adolescence are to the development of on eself. throng Joyce and Amy Tan explore the changes in perspective gained as each protagonist matures into a more enlightened adult. innocence is lost and displeasures of reality become evident early in life. It is the time when one comprehends that he or she faces substantial pain and emptiness in the future.The irony is that the coming of age never ends people continue to grow up far beyond the stage of adulthood. 7 Rayside Works Cited Joyce, James, Araby (91-95). Abacarian, Richard and Marvin Klotz. Eds. Liturature The humankind Experience. Shorter 9th ed. Boston Bedford. 2007. Print. Tan, Amy, Two Kinds (383 391) Abacarian, Richard and Marvin Klotz. Eds. Liturature The Human Experience. Shorter 9th ed. Boston Bedford. 2007. Print. Fargnoli, A. Nicholas and Michael Patrick Gillespie Araby. Critical Companion to James Joyce A Literary Reference to His Life and Work, Critical Companion. New York Facts On File, Inc. , 2006. 8